I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
