he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
