Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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