Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize