grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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