you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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