I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
