I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
