Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
