I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
