he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
