oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I deserve this hangover.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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