votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
