OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
