**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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