this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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