Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
