it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
