All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
