you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
