isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
