She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
