I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
