With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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