I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
