Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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