Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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