I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
