clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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