im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
