Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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