I'm going to jail i love you
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
