there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
