I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
