if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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