Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
