Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
