so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
