I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
