I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize