ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
