Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
