it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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