His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
false alarm. still invincible.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
