i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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