we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
