Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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