i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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