you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
