It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
