so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
