for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
