so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
