so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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