I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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