Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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