You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize