i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm bleeding and have questions
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
