soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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