didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
