Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
